Diane met Phil at a party. Something about him attracted her immediately and something about her attracted him immediately as well. The following day he called her and they arranged to go out that evening.
Phil turned out to be the perfect boyfriend: he filled Diane's house with beautiful flowers every Friday, whispered in her ears warm love words and let her into his heart faster than the speed of light. After a month or so of perfect euphoria, they had their first fight. It began with some little disagreement about a song that Diane loved and became a loud argument about the different fields of interest they had.
Diane was shocked that the same lovely guy she loved so much behaved so rudely and criticized and ridiculed her interests. Diane loves classical music and Phil thought it was conservative; violins drive him crazy and he refused to allow her to play that music when they were together. Of course he refused to come with her to concerts she liked so much. Diane couldn't understand how an intelligent and educated person like Phil loved to listen to Rap music and sometimes, goodness gracious, he is careless about table manners in restaurants. From that moment on, the couple found many points they didn't agree upon – their opinions were completely different!
For a while Diane, was really upset and the situation got worse; she knew that on one hand the potential of living with Phil was amazing but on the other hand, Phil didn't understand or respect her interests and to a certain degree didn't accept her as she was. The arguments got more frequent and the bouquets got smaller. With a heavy heart she called Michael, a close friend, to cry about the injustice in the world and her big disappointment in love.
Michael listened to Diane's complaints and immediately understood what was going on. “Diane,” said Michael carefully “I have only one question and tell me the truth: how would you really want Phil to treat you?” Diane answered immediately, “I would like Phil to respect my love of classical music, foreign movies and also the fact that I talk to my mother at least twice a day and love to go to sleep at 10pm. I would like to listen to classical music in my house without him turning up his nose, I would like him to come with me to a new Japanese movie and if he doesn't want to, at least he won't drive me crazy if I go to the movie with a friend instead. Besides, I would like him to get back from work early enough so that we will could spend time together without upsetting my habit of having early nights. Oh! And also I don't want him to be jealous about my contact with you or with my other friends; he hasn't said anything clearly but I feel he is a little suspicious every time we talk on the phone and he is nearby.”
Michael listened to her patiently and finally said: “Diane, I understand. Now, you remember I recently gave you a booklet with a picture of a dove on it? Or maybe it was with another cover?” Diane remembered and went to bring The Way to Happiness® booklet. The booklet was on some paper piled in the corner of her study and she hadn't had time to read it, despite Michael's eager recommendation.
“Please open chapter No. 20 and read aloud the title”. Diane did what he said and read, “Try to Treat Others as You Would Want Them to Treat You”. Well, so what are you actually implying?”
They continued to read the chapter over the phone until they reached the paragraph:
“Now there is an interesting phenomenon at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One is treated pretty much the way he treats others: one actually sets an example of how he should be treated”.
Diane was shocked!
She suddenly realized that she is not patient about Phil's life: she is very critical about his friends who look “crazy” in her eyes, she disparages the music he prefers and she makes non-stop remarks about his style of dress.
Diane decided immediately to treat Phil as she would like him to treat her. She finished the conversation with Michael and went back to read closely chapter 20 in the booklet. She dwelled upon the part where it's written: “Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgiveness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity?
It might take a while but don't you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?"
Diane continued to observe herself while studying chapter 20 and understood what she should do to save her relationship.
After about three months Diane sent a message: “Michael! You and your booklet are genius!!! You deserve a huge bouquet because yesterday I got a marriage proposal from Phil. I'm so excited.”
Michael couldn't wait and immediately called to hear details. Diane explained: “After our conversation I realized what I was doing wrong and how to improve it. I used the chapter we read. I applied the drill at the end of the chapter, the section on specializing every day on one virtue etc. I actually worked on myself and all the while I saw Phil suddenly resume being extremely charming. You wouldn't believe it but he bought me a couple of very expensive tickets to a concert so I could go with my mother!” “Wow! Diane that's incredible!!!” Michael said. “But Michael, although I was surprised by his support, I realized why it had happened. I might add that the tickets for the concert came two days after I cooked a big dinner for his 'disturbed' friends, the same friends I had hated him to meet at all before.”
It turns out the precept worked! Good treatment in the long run resulted in good treatment on the part of Phil. At first she did not even tell him about Michael's advice, but she began behaving according to it, and instead of criticizing, used tolerance and acceptance, instead of scorn, they shared consideration and respect. And soon also a wedding.
Today, Diane knows that a person can influence the behavior of others towards him or her - in relationships in the family or at work. Would you like many other people to know this and be helped by the information in this booklet?
Phil turned out to be the perfect boyfriend: he filled Diane's house with beautiful flowers every Friday, whispered in her ears warm love words and let her into his heart faster than the speed of light. After a month or so of perfect euphoria, they had their first fight. It began with some little disagreement about a song that Diane loved and became a loud argument about the different fields of interest they had.
Diane was shocked that the same lovely guy she loved so much behaved so rudely and criticized and ridiculed her interests. Diane loves classical music and Phil thought it was conservative; violins drive him crazy and he refused to allow her to play that music when they were together. Of course he refused to come with her to concerts she liked so much. Diane couldn't understand how an intelligent and educated person like Phil loved to listen to Rap music and sometimes, goodness gracious, he is careless about table manners in restaurants. From that moment on, the couple found many points they didn't agree upon – their opinions were completely different!
For a while Diane, was really upset and the situation got worse; she knew that on one hand the potential of living with Phil was amazing but on the other hand, Phil didn't understand or respect her interests and to a certain degree didn't accept her as she was. The arguments got more frequent and the bouquets got smaller. With a heavy heart she called Michael, a close friend, to cry about the injustice in the world and her big disappointment in love.
Michael listened to Diane's complaints and immediately understood what was going on. “Diane,” said Michael carefully “I have only one question and tell me the truth: how would you really want Phil to treat you?” Diane answered immediately, “I would like Phil to respect my love of classical music, foreign movies and also the fact that I talk to my mother at least twice a day and love to go to sleep at 10pm. I would like to listen to classical music in my house without him turning up his nose, I would like him to come with me to a new Japanese movie and if he doesn't want to, at least he won't drive me crazy if I go to the movie with a friend instead. Besides, I would like him to get back from work early enough so that we will could spend time together without upsetting my habit of having early nights. Oh! And also I don't want him to be jealous about my contact with you or with my other friends; he hasn't said anything clearly but I feel he is a little suspicious every time we talk on the phone and he is nearby.”
Michael listened to her patiently and finally said: “Diane, I understand. Now, you remember I recently gave you a booklet with a picture of a dove on it? Or maybe it was with another cover?” Diane remembered and went to bring The Way to Happiness® booklet. The booklet was on some paper piled in the corner of her study and she hadn't had time to read it, despite Michael's eager recommendation.
“Please open chapter No. 20 and read aloud the title”. Diane did what he said and read, “Try to Treat Others as You Would Want Them to Treat You”. Well, so what are you actually implying?”
They continued to read the chapter over the phone until they reached the paragraph:
“Now there is an interesting phenomenon at work in human relations. When one person yells at another, the other has an impulse to yell back. One is treated pretty much the way he treats others: one actually sets an example of how he should be treated”.
Diane was shocked!
She suddenly realized that she is not patient about Phil's life: she is very critical about his friends who look “crazy” in her eyes, she disparages the music he prefers and she makes non-stop remarks about his style of dress.
Diane decided immediately to treat Phil as she would like him to treat her. She finished the conversation with Michael and went back to read closely chapter 20 in the booklet. She dwelled upon the part where it's written: “Now what do you suppose would happen if one were to try to treat those around him with justness, loyalty, good sportsmanship, fairness, honesty, kindness, consideration, compassion, self-control, tolerance, forgiveness, benevolence, belief, respect, politeness, dignity, admiration, friendliness, love, and did it with integrity?
It might take a while but don't you suppose that many others would then begin to try to treat one the same way?"
Diane continued to observe herself while studying chapter 20 and understood what she should do to save her relationship.
After about three months Diane sent a message: “Michael! You and your booklet are genius!!! You deserve a huge bouquet because yesterday I got a marriage proposal from Phil. I'm so excited.”
Michael couldn't wait and immediately called to hear details. Diane explained: “After our conversation I realized what I was doing wrong and how to improve it. I used the chapter we read. I applied the drill at the end of the chapter, the section on specializing every day on one virtue etc. I actually worked on myself and all the while I saw Phil suddenly resume being extremely charming. You wouldn't believe it but he bought me a couple of very expensive tickets to a concert so I could go with my mother!” “Wow! Diane that's incredible!!!” Michael said. “But Michael, although I was surprised by his support, I realized why it had happened. I might add that the tickets for the concert came two days after I cooked a big dinner for his 'disturbed' friends, the same friends I had hated him to meet at all before.”
It turns out the precept worked! Good treatment in the long run resulted in good treatment on the part of Phil. At first she did not even tell him about Michael's advice, but she began behaving according to it, and instead of criticizing, used tolerance and acceptance, instead of scorn, they shared consideration and respect. And soon also a wedding.
Today, Diane knows that a person can influence the behavior of others towards him or her - in relationships in the family or at work. Would you like many other people to know this and be helped by the information in this booklet?
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